Greetings Storytellers! I have received a few emails as of late asking questions about relationships and why they are sometimes so difficult.
The biggest problem in relationships is that a person often relates to the world mostly based on how he/she is. If you want to connect, you have to relate to the other person the way they are -which means investing time in understanding the other person’s needs. Men tend to be “fixers” and move forward (think “hunters” from cavemen days). Sometimes when a man (anyone associating with masculine energy) goes out and is asked how his day was, it was simply “good”- no details, not much info, because he has mostly moved on from it. Women (anyone associating with feminine energy) on the other hand, have been like a sponge, soaking up their world through sensory information filled with details/experiences, and therefore has to express and share it (think “gatherers” from cavewomen days).
So, gentleman, bottom line is sometimes it is best to just be there and listen. You don’t need to say or do anything except be present for her -listen to what she has “gathered”. Ladies, understand that he may not be as talkative as you are or have much to share about his day (he went on his hunt, he caught his prize, he’s past it). And that’s ok, because you are both experiencing the world differently. Accept it, because “storytelling” that things should be different is what is creating your sadness,anger,frustration, etc. As stated in The Gifted Storyteller, “Creating stories in your mind, imagining things to be or as supposed to be a certain way, and then getting pissed off when it doesn’t match your expectation? ”
A favorite video of mine which exemplifies this is called “It’s Not About the Nail.” You’re going to want to share this post and video after watching this. Enjoy.
Watch “It’s not About the Nail”